jumping ship
i have decided to move my blog. if you care to follow the madness, email me and i’ll fill ya in.
note to self
gina dear,
i know how much you enjoy this time of year–the family, the decorations, the FOOD…but when will you learn?? seriously. c’mon now. say it out loud with me, “pumpkin ANYTHING, other than pumpkin pie, is GROSS”. did you get that? GROSS. how many times do we need to test this theory? don’t you remember the starbucks incident?? y’know, the time where you spew hot coffee all over the hubby, claiming “pumpkin spice latte?!! (*cough, cough, hack*) this is shite!”
more recently, what about the holiday edition of pumpkin pie yogurt? didn’t it have the flavor of, oh, i don’t know, pumpkin pie made with spoiled, sour milk? mmmm, yum.
what about the pumpkin pie ice cream and milk shakes, huh? you know in your heart of hearts it was a sad attempt at recreating the magic that is pumpkin pie. an imposter, i say. one that leaves you empty and disappointed. don’t do it to yourself anymore, my dear. consider this a lesson learned.
p.s. don’t think it’s any better with any of the other “holiday” items. gingerbread and eggnog latte? REPULSIVE. any yogurt flavor, such as eggnog, bread pudding, sugar cookie…all FOUL. (i know. there was a sale. STILL.) pumpkin pie candles? NAUSEATING.
so lets do a quick recap. pumpkin pie–yummy. anything trying to be pumpkin pie–loathsome. got it?
pho-natic
pho (pronounced fuh-uh, but most most people just pronounce it as fuh), is the national vietnamese dish. it is a wonderfully aromatic beef noodle soup that can also have differing variations made with chicken, meatball, vegetarian, ect. the flavors of this soup are enhanced by adding a little hoisin sauce, chili sauce, a couple sprigs of basil and a squeeze of lemon. it can be eaten any time of day, breakfast, lunch or dinner. and trust me on this, it is FABULOUS.
i have become somewhat protective of this dish. it is near and dear to my heart. i enjoy it so much that i am a tad bit offended and disappointed when others don’t share the same experience. i start to become selective as to who i want to introduce it to. i have become….a pho snob.
i remember in college, i had a study buddy that i had to spend increasing amounts of time with. we would quiz eachother, review notes, have discussions, ect. after an exhausting evening of studying, i told her about a pho restaurant across the street and asked if she wanted to join me.
after catching up on some chit chat and finishing up my meal, i noticed her bowl was still rather full.
“you’re done already? i noticed you didn’t eat much. didn’t you like it?” i asked.
“oh. ummm…not really. i just don’t think it’s for me.”
(staring in disbelief)
oh really? not for you, huh? what exactly “isn’t for you”? i wondered.
after feeling incredibly disappointed, i then decided what did she know? she was probably the type of person that looked at a menu and said “do you have hamburgers?” or didn’t eat gyro meat because it’s “too gamey” or went to a japanese restaurant for “teriyaki chicken, please”. and the final straw? she probably doused all her asian food, with painstaking ingredients and delicate sauces, with the dreaded SOY SAUCE (*cringe*).
ever since then, before introducing pho to a new person, i now have to stop and think
are you pho worthy?
can you handle the complex explosion of sweet, sour, salty, spicy? can you handle the incredibly comforting warmth of the broth? can you handle some freakin’ chopsticks for god’s sakes?
and it’s not just me that is ga-ga for this soup. it has become the new favorite catch phrase. it’s un-pho-gettable. pho-real, yo.
codename: NINJA
my husband and i are slowly learning the art of STEALTH.
see, i don’t exactly live in a palace. space is a premium in my house and we have more people living here than bedrooms available. sadly, this means we have had to set up cribs for the twins directly in our bedroom, facing us on one side.
on many occasions, the babies will wake, stand up in their crib, stare us down and scream to be picked up.
in the wee hours of the early morning is when the babies usually start to stir. it is at that time that either my husband or i will wake and desperately need to use the restroom. the problem is how to get out of the bedroom without the babies seeing or hearing us.
we have had to resort to some rather painful measures.
(for maximum effect, play this on low while reading. please continue.)
first, my husband will bunch up his blankets on one side, forming a visual barrier to the cribs. then, once safely behind the wall of blankets, he will scoot himself down to the foot of the bed, inch by inch, rather worm-like. next, in one swoop, he will drop to the floor and practically army crawl to the door.
sometimes, my husband gets over confidant and will stand up mid-crawl and think that he can make it to the door undetected.
suddenly, we hear an ankle *SNAP*!!
and a knee *POP*!!
then CRAP! one of the babies will start to cry!
i think, GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! GET DOWN SOLDIER! DOWN!! YOU’VE BEEN COMPROMISED!!
charged with fear, he instantly drops to the floor and lies completely still as if trying to ward off a bear attack.
the baby settles back down to sleep.
relieved, he eventually reaches the door, wipes the sweat off his brow and goes about his business.
AT EASE, SOLDIER.
i’m up next. i roll two times to the edge of the bed and drop to the floor. as i crouch to the ground and start my crawl to the door, my elbow hits the foot of the bed.
MOTHER — !!
i see a head quickly pop up.
“ma ma ma ma ma”
i lie still, taking shallow breaths.
the little one is not so easily fooled. he waits, staring out into the darkness, knowing he heard something.
i lie there, fingers twitching, bladder about to burst, wondering whether i should throw caution to the wind and make a dash to the door.
i see him finally lay his head back down murmuring something into the blanket.
now’s the chance! i make a run for it and am greeted at the door by my husband. we quickly embrace, feeling each others pain.
HOO-AH! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. we made it. whew!
man, we seriously need to get a bigger house.
lou baby
picture a crowded room with a dimly lit stage. there is the faint sound of murmuring voices and dinnerware clinking in the distance. a hush falls over the crowd as the curtains are slowly pulled back from the stage and a dark figure emerges. everyone waits with breathless anticipation. a spotlight suddenly flashes on a sultry figure as a disco ball splashes glittery light all over the walls. the figure steps forward and begins…
this is how i envision myself singing a lou rawls song. i don’t know why but everytime i hear it, i picture myself karaoke-ing it at a wedding somewhere. i can see my husband sitting in the front row as i point to him, singling him out from the crowd.
i know it is a song about “missin’ my lovin’ ” and is probably not appropriate at a wedding but it is a love song that i can’t help but want to belt out everytime i hear it.
galactic greetings
my husband and i are rediscovering disneyland.
last friday, we decided to utilize our newly acquired annual passes and have a “disney date night” (with the economy being what it is, it’s a very cost effective night of entertainment).
it’s rare when we can get away with three kids so we decided to capitalize on my mother’s offer to babysit and try to reconnect as a couple.
we got home from work and did the mad rush of dinner and bedtime routines and then we were free, freeeeeeee for the whole night! (granted, we could stay awake of course!)
we stumbled upon a new ride there. it’s called buzz lightyear’s astro blaster. kinda fun. it’s an interactive ride where you are given ray guns to shoot at targets that belong to the evil emperor zurg. at the end of the ride, you can compare your score to your opponent’s. neat, huh? somewhere along the ride, your picture is taken and they have a screen where you can identify your pic and email it to yourself. it’s nice because everywhere else in disneyland you are required to buy your pic if you want it.
as you can see, my portion of the pic did not turn out very well. i don’t know if you can tell but it was seriously GAME ON. i was gonna whip the hubby’s ass! it was all about focus. (i have a slight competitive streak in me). i couldn’t help but mess him up a couple times as i found that a knob on the dashboard will spin your car around.
he’s all “AH HAHAHA!” fun and games. and i’m all “MOVE IT DIRT BAG! THAT TARGET”S MINE! YOU”RE GOING DOWN!”.
the part that you can’t see is that his score ended up being 74, 900. bleh.
so, when we got off the ride i was disappointed that my pic didn’t come out very well so i told him that the next time we go on that ride, i was going to forego the stupid targets and pose all cute-like for the camera, pretending to blow the smoke away from the barrel of my gun. he said he was going to pose with the barrel of the gun poised at my temple.
ahhhh yes. our love only grows stronger. :)
someday
i awoke this morning all in a rush. had to get queen b off to preschool and didn’t want to be late. jumped out of bed, made her lunch, fed the twins, got her dressed and headed to school.
got home and happened to take a peek at my reflection in the mirror in the entry way.
what i saw reminded me of what a nurse told me when i took the twins in for their two week well-baby check.
she was a blond, peppy little thing, all bouncy with her hair in a pony tail. she gushed, “HELLO! oh! you have twins!! how adorable! boy and a girl?!! so cute!! i have twins too!! two girls! i know what you’re going through right now. don’t worry mama, you will be able to brush your hair one day. you will be able to put on make-up again. it’s rough those first few months but we all live through it!”
what was she talkin’ about??!! i thought i looked decent.
however, when i caught my reflection in the mirror this morning, i couldn’t help but think here i am almost a year later and apparently that “day” hasn’t come yet.
not quite
reasons to NEVER eat out again
1. anywhere you go for dinner on a saturday night will be PACKED. there is nowhere to sit and wait with your 3 kids. when a spot eventually opens up, you will get bombarded with questions from bored strangers who are crammed on a bench next to you. you answer politely but you are really grumpy from hunger so you can’t help but think of nasty things to respond with in your head.
“oh my gosh! twins??”
no. triplets but one died.
“do twins run in your family?”
no, but do stupid people run in your family?
“are they identical?”
no, he has a penis and she doesn’t.
“how old are they?”
old enough to know they don’t want you all up in their face.
“were they natural?”
a lot more natural then that “blonde” you got going on there.
2. your toddler will become annoyed at the attention the twins are getting and will proceed to repeatedly tap on your arm while talking over you, the person speaking to you and anyone sitting near you.
“MOMMEEEE!! MOMMEEE!! MOM-MEEE!! ummm, MOM-MEEEEEEEEEEE! i want to eat! i’m hungry! hey! mommy! i TOOTED! i want to sit down over there! i’m cold! i want my sweater! can you zip it?? zip it mommy! who’s that? what’s your name? who IS that? hey! i’m TWO! look at my hand mommy! TWO! MOMMEEEEEEEEE!! oops! I TOOTED AGAIN!!”
3. when you are finally seated at your table, you are filled with anxiety because the babies are starting to get fussy and the waiter hasn’t even returned to take your order.
4. while finally waiting for food to arrive, you try to entertain your kids with ramdom items like sugar packets and spoons. you hand one baby a menu and the other baby your cell phone but the toddler has decided to scribble on the table with the complimentary crayons instead of the piece of paper she was given.
as you proceed to clean the table, she spills milk all over herself. there are no napkins on the table.
you think, you gotta be freakin’ kidding me. where IS that damn food!!?? should i get it to go??
5. food finally arrives and you try to inhale everything before the babies erupt into a FULL ON MELTDOWN. sugar packets are no longer cutting it.
6. toddler keeps staring at the people in the booth behind you and after repeated attempts to tell her how impolite it is to stare, she has now progressed to jumping on the chair while staring at the people eating. you try and discuss proper restaurant behavior, make her sit down, then turn to finish your meal.
7. you are pelted on the side of the head with a smiley face potato thing.
you yell “CHECK PLEASE!” and vow to never eat out again until the kids are 18.
quick tip for busy moms
i just have to share this product because it has been a lifesaver in my household. (especially this morning!) batter blaster is an organic pancake mix that comes out of a spray nozzle. you literally point, spray, cook and eat. super easy to do! i make little dollar sized pancakes for my daughter because they cook fast and are easy for her to hold. then i just top with a little bit of whipped cream and there is no need for messy syrup! ta-da!
the kids are taking over
heeeeeelp! the air is thin….can’t breathe….(*gasp*)…closing..in..on..me…
i am being buried alive. literally. there is so much clutter in this house i can’t get over it. where did all this stuff come from? no matter how much i clean, organize and attempt to de-clutter, it just keeps reappearing.
it doesn’t help having multiples. when you have twins, there is an endless list of things you need. you get two cribs, two swings, two high chairs, two exersaucers, a huge gated area for them to play, two sets of toys, two baskets of clothes, two of everything that basically equals no living area left for you.
don’t forget the kitchen because taking up counter space is two sets of 4 bottles, two sets of 4 nipples, two sets of bottle lids, two bottle racks. forget the appliances. we won’t even go there.
it also doesn’t help that my husband is somewhat of a kid himself. when he buys the children stuff, he likes to go BIG. last christmas queen b got a school bus with toys that are lined on each side.
i know it doesn’t look that big but this thing takes up prime space in my family room.
the year before that it was megaland. the name says it itself. because what kid doesn’t need a ball pit in their house?
it’s crazy. we’re slowly being pushed our of our home.
i know it’s only a matter of time before niecy nash shows up from that show “clean house” and annoys the hell out of me with her sassy comments, flower hairpins and head bopping.
it’s ok though. she’ll have to wade her way through this house to get to me and who knows how long that’ll take.
